Skip to main content

The New Face Of English

Now that  UK has left the EU - The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will not be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

And Congratulations you have learnt German within minutes.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Blinded Devotion.........

Have you ever wondered what it is that makes people tick?  What moves people to do the things they do?  What causes people to react in the many ways they do?</strong></em> There can be no leaders without some form of followers. They( most leaders), with their smooth and fair speech, beguile the hearts of the innocent.  Because the leaders are blind, those who follow after them likewise are blind.  Their sense of assurance is a false sense of assurance.  They think they have peace when in reality they are like Judah of old crying, “Peace, peace; when there is no peace” (Jeremiah 6:14).  Many of our own congregations are like the churches at Sardis who have a reputation that lives but are dead (Revelation 3:1) and at Laodicea who say, “I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing;” but are really “wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked” (Revelation 3:17).   The blind...

Worthy Sacrifice…

How much of our sacrifice will God consider worthy? How much of our praises, worships, thanksgiving, will God consider as worthy enough? Psalms 51:17 (KJV)   says “ The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise. As I was observing my siesta after I returned from service, I don’t know if I was dreaming but all I kept hearing was “ worthy sacrifice, worthy sacrifice”.   I quickly woke up and knew God wanted me to write on this topic. I started by asking myself what kind of sacrifice will I offer to the Lord and it will be considered a worthy sacrifice? What kind of sacrifice will you offer to God and it will be considered a worthy sacrifice? Abraham is the father of many nations, loved and blessed by God. Today we are proud to say we are the sons of Abraham. We even have a popular song we sing in Nigeria “ Father Abraham has many sons, many sons have father Abraham, I am one of them and so are you, ...

The Woman

​As a woman, you are many things to your husband and as a man, there are 8 things you should be to your wife. Don’t marry a man because of what he drives but what drives him Seduce your husband. Don’t always allow your husband to ask for sex. As a woman your under wear should match You must be a different woman to your husband every time. Be creative. Don’t be predictable. Give him what he wants. Everyone woman has an influence. If you lose influence over your husband you have lost womanhood You must learn to synchronize with your husband. Be part of his plans Don’t have too many children. Sex is not all about making children. Dress to please your husband Don’t fix time to have sex with your husband.When a man is sexually satisfied he is emotionally stable As a woman you should invest in yourself spiritually so you can adequately support him. Build yourself as a prayer warrior so that you will not be forced to pray at the end of your life. I ...